When we love the Lord with our first love, that becomes a testimony of the Lord.

I heard this from an elder brother over the dinner table, and it just really touched me...

When God is satisfied, everything is for us and to us. And everything that is for us and to us is Christ, it's all Christ.

Oh, when GOD (not me or you) but GOD is satisfied...when He is satisfied, everything is for us and toward us... How pure the heart of our Lord is... How good He is, He is the only GOOD ONE in the universe. His Goodnesssss! ......

He is Faithful

Today I enjoyed pray reading the Word in Psalms. I've also been enjoying going to the table meeting in Houston/southwest district. I can honestly say the past table meeting we had was awesome! (Not to throw that word around lightly). The elder brothers led us into an atmosphere of just... using whatever strength we can muster to just PRAISE THE LORD! We were in Psalms - Week 3 and... wow... It was talking about the psalmist praising Jehovah and how excellent His name was on the earth. Anyway, when that elder brother stood up and praised the Lord, oh man... as Psalms 8 was saying, heaven was on earth, earth was in heaven, heaven and earth were one, in our spirits! Heaven and earth were truly one when we praise the Lord in our spirits!

Going back to pray reading... it's been awesome to just let the Word nourish us, nourish our spirit, even if we do or do not understand the meaning of a verse, it's good to just take in some solid food in the word to just really, get some substance or... what should I say, divine life? into our spirit. I don't know... it just feels right.

The Lord is faithful...

Mount up with wings like eagles!

Today is a special day. Seemingly it is an ordinary day, from an outsider's perspective. But for me, it's a very special day.

I just came home from a gathering with some really precious Christians that live around my area here in Alief/Houston area. Then, after getting home, I read an entry from a dear sister's blog, which eventually led me to write this post... She says...

http://www.simplykatherine.com/2011/08/christians-on-campus-part-8.html

"Recently, I was listening to a fellowship given by an older brother in the Lord (he's associated with Christians on Campus). He said that actually all throughout our life, God always has His hand over us to cover us, to protect us. I didn't really understand at first the magnitude of this statement. Now as I dwell more in this thought, my whole heart is burning with thanksgiving, love, and humbleness." 

 The bolded statement above caught my attention. He always... always... has His hand over us to cover us, to protect us. Do you believe this? It's true... even if we cannot believe it, it's true and by the Lord's mercy, we can just believe by faith. 

Let me explain why this day is special to me...

1. It was a hard day at work today, it's the last day of training so we are getting everything ready. By next week, the real deal happens. At first, I had some hesitation towards my co-worker that works with me in the same room. But as we were talking, it is unraveled that she is a believer. //This is an o p e n i n g.// I asked her if she wanted to have "morning revival", or "devotional" together. She replied that, throughout all last year, God was telling her to ask her co-workers for a "prayer walk" as she mentioned. I am not really sure what that is... but, this is an o p e n i n g. Lord... what about fellowship with my co-worker? Lord, build and mingle Your Body together. There is a budding in our relationship Lord, You are sovereign.

2. Secondly, on the way back home, my gas in my car is running empty and the "gas is running low" light started blinking so I got kinda worried that my gas would run out on the freeway, since it's a 30-40 minute drive back. I was worried because, I know I didn't have cash with me && my debit card doesn't work. So, how do I buy gas without money? So... maybe I drove 60% of the way, praying, praying... then, I just could not take it anymore. I did not want to risk it. I got off an exit-- there was a Shell right off the exit. I searched for some cash in my purse and find 22 cents. "Okay Lord, here it goes...", I said. I went into the gas station...

"Can you do me a favor?" I asked the cashier... (I explained to him my situation... it took maybe 20-30 seconds). "But I only have 21 cents (I dropped the 1 cent in the car)..."

Easily and fast, he replies, "Sure, I will put some gas in there for you."

"Thank you!" Then I forgot to tell him I was on number 2 and told him that it was 2. I went to my car and started pumping. I was expecting that he'd give me 21 cents... but I was surprised, the pump didn't stop...$1.00... $2.00...$4.00... it still didn't stop. I stopped it at $4.98. But I could have kept going... and I never knew what limit he gave me. Wow!

I was just so surprised that someone was nice enough to give me free gas! The whole time driving, I was praying for that cashier. Lord, don't let me forget, I think this coming Monday I will go back again to pay him and thank him. Thank You Lord that you can even take care of us through other people.

3. Then, the highlight of my day... a home gathering at a Christian's home with some precious Christians in Alief. They are so young (although in age, they may not be so young). But, I feel like they are even younger than me. We were on the table and as we were fellowshipping, they were talking about their childhoods and about how this sister's mother used to curl her daughter's hair using the old-fashioned curlers that you have to heat up in the stove. What she was talking about was just ordinary but for some reason, it fed me spiritually. The way she described the meticulous process her and her mother went through to straighten her afro or sometimes, turn the straightened hair into beautiful curls. These believers have a good deposit of Christ in them and, we were fellowshipping about... praying and reading being one. When we read the Word, we need to pray it & when we pray, we need to read the Word. It's reading the Word with our spirit mingled with the Spirit & or praying with our mingled sSpirit then reading the Word. It's like walking with two feet. Sometimes we step first with our left then right, or right then left, but eventually the two feet go together side by side. The ministry says that, enjoying God requires the Spirit and the Word, the pillar of cloud (the Spirit for the day) and the pillar of fire (the Word for the night). (Psalm 119:105 \\ Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path\\ ).

And, what really impressed me in this home gathering is that... we were fed, we were just enjoying the Lord. Before we read the material, a brother in Christ said, that it is not that we want to finish reading the assigned ministry for that night but that, if there's a point that was amazing to one member, that we would stop and say, "Wait, sister, before you start reading..." or "I was impressed, I was amazed, I enjoyed..." Even if the fellowship takes 15 minutes, because, we want to honor the Lord and His leading in our fellowship. Our goal is not to get through the piece of "ministry" but that when we stop and wait on the Lord for His fellowship through each others' enjoyment and fellowship, we get fed with God Himself, tasty food, the real ministry. We were feasting and eating... yumm yumm! I was a little hesitant to share what I enjoyed, because I guess I was a little shy. But I hope, next time the Lord would empower me to just share, for the Body's sake, that others would get fed by my sharing as I am fed by the other members' sharing.

4. Another awesome thing that impressed me is that... when these sisters were conversing over the table, majority of the time, maybe 95% of the time, I did not hear anything negative when they talk about their daily living, their work, their children, family, jobs, grandchildren. Mostly positive. Do I hear eagles soaring in the air? I was reminded of the verse in Isaiah (40:31) // Yet those who wait on Jehovah will renew their strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles; They will run and will not faint; They will walk and will not become weary. // Lord, bring us into this realm. Lord, let us wait on You and renew our strength & we will mount up with wings like eagles! Whatever negative matters, forces, circumstances of death or sin the world brings them, it seems that they have a Way to overcome. When we are in Christ, there is no condemnation. When we are in a certain Realm or Person, we soar up like eagles! We hover over the earthly things, just like that. On one hand, situationally we are on the earth and physically participate in the earthly things, but on the other hand, we soar above the earthly things! Lord, how we love to be in this realm! Lord... bring us INTO this realm! I enjoyed that, when we are fed with God, everything is straight. Everything is just a-OK! Like...we are sober-minded and full... Like... WHOA, my head is now aligned. Like we are in the highest potential of our human existence. I am a complete person, a complete human being when I am in God, fed with God and absorb God.

So, now you know why this day is special to me. I think I just got fed... by and with God Himself. Praise the Lord! I asked if I can join them again next Friday... of course, they said... (what do you think?)     :D

Believing Into Him being Receiving Him!

Believing into Him being receiving Him! This matter really impressed me during my job interview last week. Because the job interview was almost the whole day, I had the opportunity to read the Word during our waiting times! During this time, I took the chance to be immersed in the book of John. Christians on Campus in Austin is following a bible reading schedule of the Gospels with footnotes and we are in the book of John! Praise the Lord! I just want to thank the Lord for strengthening me during my interview. I believe He became my peace and confidence and strength during my weakness and distress. (I got the job, by the way!) :)

Anyway, it really impressed me that... Believing into Him is different from believing Him. 


John 3:15-16 That everyone who believes into Him may have eternal life. For God so loved the world He gave His only begotten Son, that everyone who believes into Him would not perish, but would have eternal life.

For some reason, I kept noticing the phrase "believing INTO Him"... this is special, what's the difference from "believing Him"?
Footnote 3:16(2): "Believing into the Lord is not the same as believing Him (6:30). To believe Him is to believe that He is true and real, but to believe INTO Him is to receive Him and be united with Him as one. The former is to acknowledge a fact objectively; the latter is to receive a life subjectively.

I just want to repeat that, to believe into Him is to receive Him and be united with Him as one.


John 1:12 But as many as received Him, to them He gave the authority to become children of God, to those who believe into His name,"

Footnote 12(1): To believe into is to receive.
Let's repeat that again, to believe into is to receive!


John 7:38 He who believes into Me as the Scripture said, out of his innermost being shall flow rivers of living water. 


Wow! When we believe into Him, we receive RIVERS OF LIVING WATER!


Oh Lord Jesus, praise You Lord that we believe into You. Lord, thank you that we are also receiving You as rivers of living water! Lord... keep us believing INTO You... Lord, keep us RECEIVING You! Lord... keep dispensing Your divine life INTO us. Oh Lord Jesus!

                                           My uncle and I at Laguna, Philippines, by the river! :)

Moment by Moment...

 From the booklet, The Holy Word for Morning Revival-The Crucial Elements of the Bible, by Witness Lee.

Week 1, Day 5.

"Since we have the Triune God in us as our life and person, we must live and walk by Him in our daily life (Gal. 5:25) and grow up in all things into Him, who is the Head (Eph. 4:15). It is difficult for husbands and wives not to quarrel in their married life. By the Lord's grace, I have been with my wife for close to thirty years, and although I dare not say that we have never disagreed, I can say that I have never quarreled with her. This is because I have another person in me, the heavenly God Himself who is my person. When I am displeased or unhappy and try to speak something unpleasant, this person who is in me says, "You may speak, but I won't speak; you may go to quarrel but I won't go." Thus, I can only say, "Lord, if You won't go, then I won't go either." Then the Lord may say, "Wonderful! Since you won't go, stay here and I will be with you." In this way I have a sweet fellowship with the Lord. Instead of quarreling, there is only prayer, the prayer of two persons praying together. I pray and He prays with me; He prays in my prayer.What an enjoyment this is! This is to live and walk by the person in us." 

Fact, Faith & Experience by Watchman Nee

Here's a section that was very good & relatable while I was reading "Fact, Faith & Experience" by Watchman Nee. Please read an excerpt of Chapter 11 of this book. It is realllly so applicable :)

"A. That We Would Not Be for Ourselves

When we read the Bible during a period of excitement and joy, we have a great interest in reading. But are we reading the Bible because of our interest or because the Bible is the Word of God? Is the purpose of our prayer to seek God in His presence, or is the goal the joy we feel in our prayer? Are we praying at the expense of forsaking our duty, or are we praying for God’s sake? If we do all these things for ourselves and to satisfy ourselves, then our aim is not God’s glory. At the height of our excitement, we do not realize that we are doing these things for ourselves; we think that we are doing these things for God. We have to realize that the times we are most excited, when we seem to be living on the mountaintop, perhaps are the times when we are in our flesh the most! This is why God takes our joy away and puts us in a condition of dryness. How do we feel then? Our prayer, reading of the Word, and witnessing become dry. Under these conditions, God is teaching us a lesson; He makes us realize that our peak spiritual experiences are just something of ourselves. We may think that they are the most spiritual experiences. Little do we realize that they are merely of the flesh. Toward the world, we expressed the part of our flesh that is evil. Now we try to express the part of our flesh that is good. God is testing us to see if we will keep praying, reading the Word, and testifying for Him during the times when the joy is gone and the dryness is present. God does not want the dryness to be too harsh for us, so He gives back the joy after a while. But He also does not want us to presume that we have reached the peak of our spirituality, so He takes the joy away again. God does not want us to be discouraged because of the dryness, so that we will not want to be Christians anymore. Therefore, He gives us a little joy again and recovers our taste to a certain degree.

When the dryness comes the second time, God will see if we have learned anything. We may think that we have done something wrong again. Actually, this is not God’s intention. He is seeing if we are working according to our duty, or if we are working because of joy. Perhaps some people have to go through these experiences five or six times; perhaps others seven or eight times. Most of the time, the feelings alternate between joy and dryness. This cycle will continue until God arrives at His purpose when we realize that our desire for joy is for ourselves and not for God. This is the first reason God deals with us with joy and dryness.

B. Disciplining the Power of the Will

When we are living a life full of joy on the mountaintop, do we feel that we must exert any effort? We do not feel this. We do not exert any effort in reading the Word, in praying, and in testifying. Suppose we are talkative... Let me ask: During which time do we experience actual spiritual dealings? It is when we are dry. When we are excited, we may not have any spiritual experience but only the results from the power of our emotion. When we are dry, we have to exercise our will, and our work is the result of our real person. The reason God gives us the dryness is so that we will learn to exercise our will during these dry times.

Suppose we are traveling by a sailboat from one place to another. The journey may take only a few hours. At the beginning of the journey, the wind blows in the right direction, and we hoist the sail. After a while the wind stops, but there are still a few hours to go. Should we take out our oars and row, or should we anchor and wait until a good wind comes before we set sail again? If we want to reach our destination sooner, we have to try our best to row. At such times we are exerting the true strength we have. This is only an illustration. When we are excited in our emotion, we are like a boat sailing with the wind; the boat does not have to exert any effort. We wish that there could be smooth sailing all year round. But if this were the case, both the captain and the sailors of a ship would become useless; they would only be able to sail in favorable winds. If the direction of the wind changed, they would not know what to do. I am afraid no one would want these sailors. When God gives us favorable wind, we praise Him. But He is also stirring us up to exercise the resurrection power given to us, without which we would not move when the joy is gone. God gives us the dryness, so that when joy and excitement are not present, we would exercise our own strength (the strength we received at the time of our regeneration). In this way, we will be able to pass through hindrances and contrary winds. The power of resurrection is more clearly demonstrated in an environment filled with death.

...Our growth is absolutely dependent on the way we exercise our will. When we are dry and exercise our will to say, “I willadvance,” we will advance. Unfortunately, the eyes of many believers are set only on the matter of joy; they think that this is the peak of spiritual experiences. Little do they realize that there is real spiritual progress only when they exercise their will to advance.

God can grant us the help of emotions, but this is not His purpose. The help of emotions is merely the means by which God deals with us. His intention is to train our will, so that at the darkest hour, we could still exercise our will, and at the time when we feel dry, we could still exercise our will to read the Bible, pray, and testify." 

If you want to read more of the book, just buy it or read online.


Source: 
Nee, W. (1992). Fact, Faith, and Experience. Anaheim, CA: Living Stream Ministry. 

Operation Strawberry Cheesecake Cupcakes

Sooo... went swimming after doing the eliptical with my sister Mikee today. I like swimming cuz sometimes, gravity pulls us down a little hard & you know, swimming is just a little way to defy gravity. Hah...ANYWAY enough of that... what am I talking about? :) Oh, yeah... and then we went to go eat at Denny's... just a little snack (pancakes, sausage, eggs)... okay maybe not a little cuz we got hungry after working out... and we prolly gained the calories we burned... lol. But yeah, I like hanging out with Mikee :) We're gonna go again tomorrow since Lifetime has an Openhouse :D

But yesterday... went to the Sisters' meeting in Houston, actually at the UH University Center to meet up with some of the students that I met from Christians on Campus. I went with some sisters I knew from church who were also in Christians on Campus. But yeah, we went to UH to go to this event called Freshmen Connect. When we got there, the students were bowling. :) And, they had fooood! Pizza and also one of the sisters VN cooked this dish she learned from Rachel Ray ( OH YEAH) and we ate it with some rice. Haha, so asian... rice at the bowling alley... that's how you do it. & I brought strawberry cheesecake cupcakes that my sis Ranee & I baked... from scratch... hah. But anyway... we met some of the Freshmen, there were a total of 5 new freshmen that we met. Praise the Lord! The freshmen girls were sweet. Two of them are gonna be Psychology majors (like me), hah. But yeah, hmm... we played bowling with them and just got to know them a little. One of the freshman girls was real sweet, some of the sisters toured her around campus after bowling, on the way to dropping her back off to her dorm for orientation. She seemed real cool. Anyway, I hope we get to hang out with her again. After that, the sisters and I went back to the sisters' house next to campus and we played and sang some songs. Very peaceful... :) Oh and, what touched me the most is that, the sisters prayed for the incoming freshmen that night... so sweet. The students here at UH really have a heart for the students. The group of sisters that I hang out with, they're so shepherding but I really like the vision they have, their purpose is fruit bearing. They care for the new students and for the gospel of Jesus Christ. How awesome!

Moving back to Houston after graduating, I was a little bummed, I gotta admit, because you know, I'm gonna miss everyone from Austin and plus my spiritual life was born in Austin. So, at first, it was realllly hard for me to live the church life here in Houston... like... I realllly have to fight for it just to stay in the church life. I think at first, I gave up... then, went back to Austin, fellowshipped with the saints, prayed with some, told the Lord, I can't do it... enjoyed the Lord, then went back to Houston, and by the overcoming One's mercy and grace... little by little, day by day, seems like the church life here in Houston reveals itself sweeter and sweeter day by day. The saints in Houston are so precioussss! I don't know... I really enjoy being in Houston, even though of course, sometimes I get into arguments with family. But Lord, you can do it! Lord, give us the strength to follow You... we just want to follow You...

                                      Ranee helping me out with the cupcakes

                                                                 Yummy Cupcake batter

Mikee with the yummy, cooked strawberry cheesecake cupcakes that we brought to Freshmen Connect. They were gone after a few minutes. Even the tray that I brought, I could not even find it afterwards, maybe they ate that too... Hah. Credits to "Megabite" for her awesome recipe for strawberry cheesecake cupcakes :) Check out her website to see other cool things to bake. Click here -->  strawberry cheesecake cupcakes recipe.

Young People's Mtg in Sugar Land

Praise the Lord! Tonight, I went with some sisters JH & TH to the Young People's meeting in Sugar Land. And what a feast! It was very good to see the sisters again, especially TH since I haven't seen her in a while. But, I really enjoyed the YP meeting because the young people are being trained to speak. Everyone stood up to share and prophesy! Even saints as young as 8 years old shared their enjoyment. Even this young brother with a speech deficiency was so bold to share his enjoyment. Anyway, it was such a good environment to be, where everyone in functioning or at least making an effort to share their enjoyment. Praise Him! I look forward to attending these young people's meetings... oh how precious are our young people!

Lord, gain our young people more & more...

Pursuing the Present Jesus

I really enjoyed this song today... it goes like this...

Savior, lead me up the mountain,
  Where the Lord alone is seen,
Where we hear the voice from heaven,
  Where the air is pure and clean.

• Lead me higher up the mountain,
    Give me fellowship with Thee;
  In Thy light I see the fountain,
      And the blood it cleanses me.

Higher up where light increases,
  Far above all earthly strife,
Where the strain of effort ceases,
  Where in Christ we reign in Life.

Savior, keep me up the mountain
  Pressing on toward the goal,
Till, as one, we share Thine image,
  And Thy love and grace extol.

Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/nt/378#ixzz1RdglHosO


I don't really know why I enjoyed it but I guess, sometimes we're so caught up with our situations, even deciding for our futures, should we go this way and that, what if this and that, that we forget to enjoy the present Jesus... I like what my best friend, a sister in Christ, told me... everyday, the Lord has a will, even a commission for that day... and nothing pleases the Lord more than for Christ to be revealed in us... enjoyed by us.

Anyway, despite everything, Lord... I just want to enjoy You, seeing nothing and no one but You, "lead me higher up the mountain, give me fellowship with Thee... " How evil it is for us not to enjoy You. How glorious it is for man to enjoy You. Lord, help us, strengthen us, be the fighting one in us, to enjoy You, with others... :)

PRAISE YOU LORD, JESUS IS LORD!

God's Sovereignty

Wow, praise the Lord! Cannot believe I am back on this blogger. It's so ironic that maybe 2 years ago, I had wanted to delete this blog because I was ashamed of all the assignments I had to write for class in this website... But what amazes me is that... during my freshman and sophomore year at UT, the Lord used this blog as a way for me to cry out to Him out of desperation. I remember during  the beginning of Spring Sophomore year, I remember writing a really long post to consecrate my college years to the Lord, because "without Him as my foundation, all else fails." Funny, that the Lord even knows and listens to everything we say or write, even in little things such as bloggers like these. Haha. What's ironic, or should I say sovereign, is that, after writing that post, a few months later I started meeting with Christians on Campus. And then, the story begins... :) Through Christians on Campus, I had a much more enjoyable and more intimate relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! Also, with Christians on Campus, I was nourished by the Word, shepherded by many caring and loving spiritual mentors, and found other precious students who became my companions in the Lord to live and pursue the Lord with. What a deal! Christians on Campus, by the Lord's mercy, sovereignty and grace, has really been my salvation throughout my college years. Now that I just graduated, I want to keep "crying out to the Lord", and blogging, and expressing all the minute, but eternal, things that He does, little by little, day by day, in our lives.

Today, I enjoyed that when we are open to the Lord and honest to Him, He is faithful to honor that. Thank You Lord...